sick!

I got a message from someone this morning. I felt terrible! It hurt me so bad. I did something that I'm not supposed to do. I hurt people who cares about me. but I'm so sorry coz I'm not the person that can b proud of. I'm not as good as kak a**a, or the cousin who u always talk about.

I hate being something that I don't. Y don't u understand me? please don't expecting something from a loser like me. please la. I'm begging you. I'm sick of it! I already messed up your dream last time coz I didn't gve the best for all that u wanted me to do. U said that it will be the last thing I do for u in deciding my life and u also made a promise that I can choose my own way life just by myself w/o you. but now what?

I'm tired of being your doll. What am I suppose to do to make u understand what I feel? What should I do to be such a nice girl for both of u? I'm useless in ur eyes. I'm nothing for u. I didn't give everything u want or easy to say, I gave u nothing. In fact, I'm giving u zero right now. I'm lonely. I think hundred times to tell somebody about these things but I don't want they think I'm a over-thinker. coz no one understands my situation. Who am I in ur life? just wasting ur money, ur time. I'm sorry for what I've done n coz being useless.

p/s: Please hate me!(sori english shaye ke longkang lagi)